Sex drive

When ordinary guys want to pimp out their vehicles, high school and pop culture observation leads me to believe they usually do it along the lines of black lights under the car, trunks full of subwoofers, decals, spoilers, or tailpipes the size of garbage cans. I've only seen the "after" part of one episode of Pimp My Ride, but I assume that if you have MTV's budget, they also throw in televisions, barbeque grills, diamond-encrusted hubcaps molded in the shape of your face, leopard-print vibrating hot tubs, and your own personal Playboy Bunny. But the car I saw today had them beat.

It was a red Pontiac Firebird with a set of bulls' horns on the roof, white mudflaps on the back tires, and side view mirrors like a motorcycle's. The pièce de résistance, though, was a red, rubber replica of a ball sack dangling from the rear bumper. It was the most masculine car I've ever seen. I don't know whether to be disgusted or impressed.