Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Duffy rides a Huffy through the Piggly Wiggly

Controversy surrounds Welsh pop singer Duffy's new commercial for Diet Coke, in which she is filmed riding a bicycle through city streets—and a local supermarket. The spot received complaints by concerned citizens after it was first aired during the Brit Awards in the UK, claiming that it “broke health and safety rules and could be copied by children.”


Overzealous and unemployed parents continue to fret over observations that her bike was not properly locked, prompting flurries of children to neglect their Kryptonite chains in favor of the “honor system.”


“This is the second bike I've had to buy my daughter,” bemoaned one parent who declined to give her name. “Why can't she idolize a normal celebrity, like Lindsay Lohan?”


Due to the “fantasy context,” the Advertising Standards Authority of Great Britain did not pull the commercial, calling it “a scenario that depicted her escape from the pressures of stardom and far removed from the real world.” So far removed, in fact, that the superstar managed to pedal through the grocery store without slipping on a puddle of orange juice, tripping over a stock clerk, or getting caught in shopping cart gridlock near the cheese island.


In response to claims that her clothing and cycle were not sufficiently reflective, representatives assured the public that her black-and-white sequined blouse and blue tights-under-shorts ensemble was enough of an eyesore to guarantee visibility, and that her bouffant contained enough Aqua Net to deflect impacts up to 300 g's.


Security has been tightened at the venues for 2009 tour, as the backstage areas have been repeatedly mobbed not by fans wanting her autograph, but unscrupulous former Lehmann Brothers employees who hope to score a free bike and start making money again in the only field that's hiring--messengers.


Sunday, February 22, 2009

Bicycles= Love

The death of one website usually leads to the birth of another. I'd actually like to try keeping this one up to date too, now that I'm back in the habit of writing again.

Anyway, if it matters, here is my new one: http://www.examiner.com/x-3139-NY-Bicycle-Transportation-Examiner.

It's for examiner.com, and I've been referring to the project as a "website column," and not a "blog." I write about bicycle transportation in New York City, which I've found to be a ton of fun, and the writing of it to be a nice little outlet/daily dose of activism.


It talks about commuter issues, bicycle messengers, pedicab laws, bike safety, and other issues of import. If bicycles aren't your thing, well...that's what I'd thought a couple years ago too. You might learn something.

You...anonymous internet "yous," you.