True Class

Currently I live a block away from a homeless shelter, which at first I thought was an old folks' home until I was informed otherwise, and also explained the abundance of homeless people that hung around my block. Every so often I get hit up for cigarettes or spare change, always politely, though usually I have nothing to give them.

Today I left my apartment and was walking to the street corner when I passed a man wearing thick layers of clothes and a dirty cap. "Miss? Miss, excuse me, miss?" he called to me gently. I stopped and turned, anticipating a request for a dime or a smoke.

With soft brown eyes that belonged on a month-old kitten, he beseeched, "Will you do a hit of crack with me?"

"No thanks," I refused genially, and continued walking.

He called out after me, his voice filled with delicate longing. "I'll suck your pussy!" he pleaded.

At which point I snickered, and walked a little faster. Oh, well in THAT case, sure, why didn't you say so?

First runner-up attempt to lure me into the bedchamber with dulcet tones and winsome charm:

"I'm gonna fuck you tonight!"
~Sketchy guy around 7th and 50thish